Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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