Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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