I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
