just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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