Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
