Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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