Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
