Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
