after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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