So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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