Plan B is the new Plan A
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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