I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
