i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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