I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He? As in you personified your dick?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
