I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
