Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
