oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Come share oat with me in your robe
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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