i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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