did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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