i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
