I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
