based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
