How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
