you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
