Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
