I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
