Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
