I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
