Your face is a jimmy john
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
