True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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