I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
