Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
