bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
