just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
