His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
