i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
