How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
