i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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