Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
