I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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