i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
