chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
