its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
