Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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