Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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