That's when you crack a 10am beer
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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