i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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