Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
