There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
