i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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