Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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