Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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