She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
