Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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