I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You dont lie about slip and slides
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I pour the whiskey from now on
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
