eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize