Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize