I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
