we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
