thus making me awesome and them whores
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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