I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The feeling are messing with the penis
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
