Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
