If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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